A Mother's Pain
by TurboNerdQueen
Summary: Takes place during B4:Ep.2 "Korra Alone" where Senna talks with Korra on the balcony.


She wondered if there was anything she could have done to prevent this from happening. It was a silly idea that had sunk its claws deep into her being, festering away like an old wound that wouldn't heal properly but still it was one that she was prone to think of often. The day Korra had been revealed as the Avatar, both Senna and her husband knew there were going to be changes. After the first initial attack when Korra was four years old- and her subsequent transfer to the OWL compound because of it- both parents began to ask themselves if there was anything that could be done to stop future attacks against their child. Over a decade later and the question still gnawed at her.

Those first few nights home had been trying on all of them. She knew none of them could slip back into old ways, because the people she loved had changed for the worse. It was difficult on Tonraq, who looked like he wanted to stay by Korra's side all while maintaining a set distance between the two. Senna had caught him staring at their child one evening after their return; she had seen men return from war or hunts gone wrong without such a haunted expression in their gaze. More than once he had woken her in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and sobbing about how he couldn't do anything. She would hold him close and whisper soothing words in his ear as his fear took over, much like she would do for their daughter just a few rooms down. He never went into detail about what had happened that day with the Red Lotus, and she wasn't sure if she was at a disadvantage for this omission of events or grateful that her husband was trying to protect her from what he had seen himself.

It was the first night in weeks that Tonraq was able to rest soundly, but even in his sleep he looked ragged and disheveled. She slipped a robe on and silently padded through the hallway, peeking into Korra's empty room and sighing to herself. Senna had known it was starting to become a routine for her daughter in this short time they had been home, and as she crept through the halls and out on to the balcony her suspicions had been confirmed.

It was a beautiful sight on most nights, especially with the cloudless sky shining brightly with the myriad of stars and ribbons of lights that danced through the air. The city was settling down after a busy day, ships docked at the harbor waiting to set sail in the morning, and the occasional call of an animal in the tundra far off in the distance. The mountains and hills surrounding them held a pale glow from the lights above, but none of this could bring a smile from Senna tonight.

Senna approached her slowly and knelt down by her side, the vacant stare in Korra's eyes tugging at the mother's heart. She smoothed an unruly part of the bender's hair down with an affectionate smile and let her hand rest on Korra's shoulder. It was now or never. While she and her husband had given their daughter the space she needed, Senna could tell it wasn't enough. When Korra would find it hard to sleep, she would make a glass of warm milk and stay by her bedside, telling her stories just like she had when she was a toddler. Whenever the plate of food remained seemingly untouched, Senna would always bring Korra a snack late in the evening and try to get her to eat with the worried mother. She sought council in Katara when she was at her wits end, not wanting to push her daughter into something that could do more harm than good… but with each day it seemed that her little girl was slipping away. It was killing Senna to see her once proud and beautiful baby girl withering away before her eyes and not be able to do anything about it.

"Will you please go see Katara?"

Senna held her breath, her hand continuously moving through the bender's long hair and bringing memories of early motherhood to the surface. Of Korra sitting in her lap while she tried out different hairstyles. Of Korra bringing home Naga for the first time- and the near heart attack both parents had that day. Of Korra scraping her knees and asking her mommy to make it better with tears in her eyes. Of Korra the first moment the healers placed the crying newborn in Senna's arms, and the bright spark she had in her eyes from the moment of her birth. Now all that she saw was a tired and defeated little girl whose gaze barely looked up from the ground. She was confined to a single space, unable to move about and do as she wanted, and Senna could see it was tearing her daughter apart.

When Katara had instructed to remove any and all sharp objects from Korra's vicinity, Senna was outraged. She had yelled at the healer, screamed for what felt like hours that her daughter- _her_ Korra- would never consider something like that. She was strong and had too much self-respect for that, and how dare Katara even insinuate that in the first place! Katara let the other tribeswoman shout until Senna was red in the face and her voice had left her before speaking again. A 'precautionary' measure, she said. Korra was undoubtedly strong, but she had undergone an immense amount of stress and trauma in such a short time. The healer spoke softly and kindly as though Senna had not just spent the better part of their visit shouting ugly obscenities towards her, smiling as if nothing happened. She embraced Katara and apologized through her tears. After that encounter, Senna became a regular guest at Katara's home, whether to enjoy a cup of tea or let out her frustration and cry.

She had asked when Katara was going to start the rehabilitation with Korra once, and the old healer simply shook her head and offered a bowl of seaweed noodles to the distraught mother.

" _We'll start as soon as she is ready. For now, she just needs her mother and father there for her_."

Senna was so caught up in her thoughts she barely heard it. Just those three words, barely whispered in the chilled night air and void of the usual energy they once held. Two sentences that would change everything from that point on, a change that Senna hoped would be for the better but knew it would come at a price.

"Alright. I'll go."

She couldn't ask for anything more.

Senna combed her fingers through her daughter's hair and pat it down softly, looking to Korra with a warm and tender smile. No one knew what it was going to take for the Avatar to heal, no one knew of the challenges that lay ahead of her but although Senna was worried by this, she knew that if there was anyone who could do such a feat it would be Korra. Not as an Avatar, but as her little girl who would sit in her lap and play with water bubbles as a child. There wasn't a doubt in the older woman's mind about that. She just had to keep reassuring herself of that while doing the same for Korra. There couldn't be any other alternative than for her Korra to get better.

"You're going to get through this. I love you so much." She said, reaching up from her crouched position to embrace Korra. She wanted to say so much more, wanted to say how much faith she had in the other's recovery, but the lump in her throat was making it difficult to speak any further. It was only the frail touch of her daughter's hand resting on her arm and a dampness against her palm that had Senna weeping softly as well. Her little girl just had to be fine after this.

She just had to.


End file.
